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Name: Kelly the Giant
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University of Propaganda

I can’t believe I’m being charged tuition for Indoctrination 101. Every Tuesday and Thursday at 11 AM, I sit in a stiff classroom on the outskirts of campus and wait for my professor, an au-natural hippie aged approximately one half-century, to arrive. She enters alongside her pet student, candidly engaged in a merciless bash session of our current U.S. government and throws out some violent fantasy about a bloody decapitation in the oval office (even though she grimaces whenever a novel discusses animal slaughter or non-human blood of any kind). I can deal with the idea that she has opinions, and I truly don’t mind that we disagree. It is when her politics interfere with my learning environment that we develop a problem.

Although I could conjecture as to my professor’s political stance after just a first glance (sometimes surface judgments are spot-on), I figured, “hey, we’re in British Literature. How often will US politics be relevant?” Well, the answer is never, but somehow it’s still shown up daily. It’s as though my teacher has set out on a mission to bend every student she encounters against conservatism. She makes an effort to connect the evils of the Republican Party to everything.

For example, when on the subject of King Henry VI, the professor commented on his age and poor political judgment. “It’s like electing a baby George Bush and having a hundred Dick Cheneys running around,” she laughed. I decided not to point out that if Bush and Cheney are in fact the blood-thirsty, war-loving men she thinks they are, they may have actually done quite well for themselves in Medieval England. She went on to discuss how dreadful life was during this Henry’s reign, all the while making correlations to Bush’s incompetence. She then said, “really, would you elect a baby to be president of the United States?” I also decided not to point out that the biggest political baby we’ve ever seen up for high public election is Barack Obama, her Messiah. Later, when commenting on author Sir Thomas Malory, she poignantly stated, “one group of people might call him a criminal, and another group might call him a great guerilla fighter, a soldier.” I made a final decision not to point out the argument that Bush the Evil is in the same reputational limbo.

I made the decisions to bite my tongue for fear that my opinions could jeopardize my grade. I thought college was supposed to encourage free thought and provide a backboard off of which to bounce uncommon ideas. This professor quickly extinguished my hopeful, intellectual flame.

Higher education has become an institution for initiating government agendas and social change. No matter which party is pushing the agenda or what the intended changes are, this is wrong. The job of a teacher is to spark original and innovative thoughts. Students should be learning to develop their own logic, to become quality thinkers, not robots who regurgitate a professor’s policies on cue. The classroom should stimulate thoughts, not provide them.

Thankfully, my mother, a middle-school teacher well acquainted with such school-board intentions, raised me with immunity to these underhanded tactics. And I feel my thoughts have potential to be more organic because of this. All minds deserve a like opportunity. Education should not taint us. I have watched my mother forced to implement teachings that directly contradict her morality, such as bribery systems for mediocre deeds, over-testing her kids to meet standards (note that I do NOT agree with Bush’s NCLB legislation), and the elimination of failure.

Whether or not you agree with the current agendas being pushed, I think we can all see that pushing any agenda at all is detrimental to our nation’s future. If we want to continue to be a nation of bright inspirations and pioneering, we cannot allow our educational system to cut out an overlay of which thoughts are acceptable. Our generation is all about fighting against the mainstream, right? Let’s fight.
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